Not only are her toys easy things for me to just say "go play" when I want to accomplish something but they are a huge cause of her disobedience.
When I tell her to clean up her toys she refuses 80% of the time. When I ask her to do something like get dressed or put her shoes on so we can leave she will tell me no because she needs to "play for just one more minute".
I have taken her toys away so she realizes she doesn't need them.
Then I will gradually give them back.
I know it may be my fault for not being more consistent with discipline. I'm just fixing it now before she gets worse and becomes disobedient in other areas.
In NO WAY am I catering to Madelynn constantly to make her happy this week. I have Hayleigh to take care of and housework to do as well. Madelynn knows how to entertain herself. She knows she can color, look at books, or build with mega blocks. She can dance and sing as well.
Children a long time ago didn't have toys and television like our children do now. They entertained themselves or helped their mother with household duties. They were well behaved and respectful. Parents then did not cater to their children and I am not doing that now. I am essentially teaching her and reminding myself that possessions are not needed to entertain you or make you happy.
I am excited that there are people joining me on this journey. I realize it is not for everyone. I hope you now have a better understanding to my reasoning behind it.
You need a like button.
ReplyDeleteMaybe tomorrow if we have some extra time you can help me add a like button and a pinterest button.
DeleteHave you thought about the emotional side effects for Madalynn? To her, she woke up one morning with all of her toys locked away and was told not to play with her sisters toys that were not locked away. Did you explain to her in a way that a three year old can understand of why you were doing this? She may develop a complex that could affect her relationship with you and her sister long term. She may feel that you favor your baby over her.
ReplyDeleteAlso, according to your detox plan, you broke your rule of being online during the day. Oops.
I am Madelynn's aunt. The time above is eastern while we live in the central time zone, so it was actually almost 6:30 when Eliza typed that response. Madelynn was up super early that morning so she needed to be in bed super early. Eliza said she wouldn't be on until after bedtime, it was after bedtime. Therefore she did not break her own rule.
DeleteYou cannot tell Madelynn's reaction to her mother's decision. You do not know her at all. If you did you would know that Madelynn adores her baby sister more than anything and she cares deeply for her. She also knows her mother loves both her girls more than life.
Madelynn is a very bright girl who understands why her mother has made these decisions for her. Madelynn loves to color and adores looking at books. She often entertains herself dancing and singing or playing with Hayleigh. I am certain that the small amount of time that she has free she would be happy to do each of those things. The rest of her day is filled cooking, cleaning, crafting, napping, baking, playing with her mother or father or both.
I have spent the entire day with Madelynn today, she played outside, we went out to lunch, she played Play dough at my house. We also went to the library. She is not at all in anyway resentful or feeling unfulfilled. Her days are still filled with lots of people who love her, even more so than meaningless objects.
Perhaps her you were just trying to kindly show Eliza a consequence that she hadn't foreseen when she made this decision. I hope that's the case, because it sure sounds as if you are judging her ability to know and love her daughter.
Just sayin.
Ruth, thanks for your concern but it is unneeded. Madelynn did not wake up one morning to her toys being locked away. I sat down with her and had a discussion with her and explained to her what we were doing in a way that her very bright mind could understand. Then, SHE joyfully helped me put her toys in the closet where we are keeping them.
DeleteShe knows that I do not favor her sister over her. I do not think that one week without her toys is going to give her a complex for the rest of her life. She is still doing things she enjoys like coloring, reading, dancing, singing, and helping me with whatever she chooses.
There is just not the distraction and barrier toys can cause.
I do not expect everyone to understand what I am doing or why I am doing it. I have thought it through and prayed about it and discussed it with my husband. We feel that this is something that should happen where we are in our lives right now. Maybe at some point in your life you will feel you need to cut back on the distractions. You may never feel that way. But whatever your decisions may be I hope you have someone there that supports them.
Playing both sides here i think the previous poster has a point but amy does as well. To take things from one and not the other seems unfair to me but also i am not there to see how things are really going down. As with anything there is no way to please everyone and as blogger she will have readers that point out different points of view. I think your rebuttle however valid is rude to the former commenter who was simply stating concern.
ReplyDeleteI was not trying to be rude, but I was a bit upset being that someone thought poorly of one of my loved ones. Next time I will be less harsh.
DeleteAs to taking toys from one and not the other, Hayleigh is not even 7 months old. So it's not as if she has a ton of toys out anyway, she's an infant. So while I can see how it could be unfair, I think that the circumstances and ages of the children makes it reasonable.